Funny Quotes: Page 7

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Funny quotes are for laughter. It is true that laughter can help to reduce the stress that people have to address. Surely, time spent with these quotes will be time well spent.

There are funny life quotes, there are funny quotes, and sayings. All of these quotes are here to help bring a smile to your face.

There is no doubt about it, the world needs more laughter and less sadness.


Be obscure clearly.
-E. B. White

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
-Elayne Boosler

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
-Emo Philips

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
-Fran Lebowitz

You're only as good as your last haircut.
-Fran Lebowitz

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
-Fred Allen

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
-Fred Allen

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
-George Bernard Shaw

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
-Hedy Lamarr

One man's folly is another man's wife.
-Helen Rowland

All men are equal before fish.
-Herbert Hoover

Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you; she is after your barn.

I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.
-Hillary Clinton

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.
-Howard Nemerov

I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.
-James Brown I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.
-Jay London

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.
-Jay London

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.
-Jerry Lewis

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
-Jim Carrey

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