Medical Quotes

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This stockpile of medical quotes is funny and serious. If you are looking for some interesting medical quotations this is the treasure for you.

This gathering of quotes is an excellent conversation piece. People will always have something to say about them.

There is no doubt that there are some real medical issues that societies will have to address. One of the primary issues is the high cost of medical care. Moreover, each and every one of us will be required to deal with personal medical questions sooner or later!

Thank you for visiting these medical quotes.

Honestly, being a doctor could make you more close-minded than regular people.
-Alex Chiu

One has a greater sense of degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience.
-Alice James

Flying back from New York, the flight attendant said 'God, I wished you were here yesterday, we had a stroke on the plane. I said, if I have a stroke on a plane, I hope the pretend doctor isn't the one on the plane. I want a real doctor.
-Anthony Edwards

Medicine is my lawful wife and literature my mistress; when I get tired of one, I spend the night with the other.
-Anton Chekhov

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.
-Anton Chekhov

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind; the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity.
-Arthur Schopenhauer

A pregnant woman facing the most dire circumstances must be able to count on her doctor to do what is medically necessary to protect her from serious physical harm.
-Barbara Mikulski

America has the best doctors, the best nurses, the best hospitals, the best medical technology, the best medical breakthrough medicines in the world. There is absolutely no reason we should not have in this country the best health care in the world.
-Bill Frist

Some people think that doctors and nurses can put scrambled eggs back in the shell.
-Cass Canfield

I'm 86 and my doctor used to tell me to slow down - at least he did until he dropped dead.
-Cesar Romero

I'm strongly for a patient Bill of Rights. Decisions ought to be made by doctors, not accountants.
-Charles Schumer

Mammograms are really sort of a gift. You can either catch something early or count your lucky stars because nothing was discovered. Either way, you're ahead of the game.
-Charlotte Ross

Doctors coin money when they do procedures but family medicine doesn't have any procedures.
-David Jones

The best doctor is the one you run to and can't find.
-Denis Diderot

The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.
-Dizzy Dean

Medical Quotes Page 2

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.
-Earl Wilson

In the name of Hypocrites, doctors have invented the most exquisite form of torture ever known to man: survival.
-Edward Everett Hale

When a man goes through six years training to be a doctor he will never be the same. He knows too much.
-Enid Bagnold

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.
-Erma Bombeck

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-Erma Bombeck

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
-Groucho Marx

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
-Groucho Marx

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch up my X-rays.
-Henny Youngman

Whenever a doctor cannot do good, he must be kept from doing harm.

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
-Isaac Asimov

Modern medicine is a negation of health. It isn't organized to serve human health, but only itself, as an institution. It makes more people sick than it heals.
-Ivan Illich

As a medical doctor, it is my duty to evaluate the situation with as much data as I can gather and as much expertise as I have and as much experience as I have to determine whether or not the wish of the patient is medically justified.
-Jack Kevorkian

When you are writing or speaking about medical issues, medical quotes are very useful.

Further, there is no doubt that medical quotes will stand the test of time.

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