Funny Quotes: Page 6

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This assortment of funny quotes is meaningful and valuable because all of us could use a laugh more often than not. Laughter today is necessary as we try to cope with this economy and the high unemployment problem.

Funny quotes are here to simply lighten up the heavy burden that too many people have to deal with on a daily basis.

I hope you will appreciate and delight in these quotes!

I never said most of the things I said.
-Yogi Berra

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor

The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the Camcorder.
-Al Gore

We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
-Alanis Morissette

Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.
-Alfred Hitchcock

My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.
-Angie Dickinson

I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun.
-Arnold Schwarzenegger

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
-Bertrand Russell

Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.
-Bette Davis

I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.
-Bette Davis

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-Brooke Shields

I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.
-Carl Sandburg

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
-Casey Stengel

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.
-Chevy Chase

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
-Chris Rock

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
-Dave Barry

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
-Dave Barry

When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.
-David Brenner

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
-David Letterman

I rant, therefore I am.
-Dennis Miller

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